So I was as usual, procrastinating and a very close friend of mine gave me a topic to write about. "Ten Years From Now". Quixotic is his name. And the fan page is up in the link ya'll. Nope, not promoting at all.
Anyway, I thought I'd make this a regular feature on my blog. Ten Years From Now. Everything Ten Years From Now. From rocks to boobs. (That escalated pretty fast huh)
So in my 1st Ten Years From Now, I thought I'd talk about the most obvious topic... WOMEN! Yes, Women, Ten Years From Now.
Usually when you say 'women' I get a mental picture of Nicki Minaj, don't ask me why. And women these days face lot of discrimination, they get hit with stereotypes etc etc. And you would expect me as a woman, to deny all these stereotypes but NO, I believe that Ten Years From Now.... half the female species are going to start looking like little Minaj's.
Women on Facebook : I spot a lot of women of facebook using their status's to talk about their day, their week or sometimes a para about their entire life. You ask me how I know this? I am one of them. OH YEAH, I am. Don't snigger, that is exactly how we women are. But sometimes, there are few people who take everything to a different level. We love receiving attention, its a known fact but some women.... they will go to any lengths for it.
So ten years from now....
Everything will go to extreme levels. And I do not expect duck faces to vanish ten years from now. In fact this will become so worse, you boys are going to have a tough time kissing us. We will mutate like this. Every born baby is going to have a duck face and if possible a camera in its hands. Boys, remember, when your daughters ask you for a camera, they don't want to be photographers. No. We have no interest in clicking pictures of cute animals or nature. The one real reason we need a camera is so we can sneak into a bathroom, put our butts out there and click a picture. And if there really is a cute animal, we NEED to be in the picture with it, making a ridiculous face. It's the law of nature.
I do not expect them to stop ranting on status's either. NO. We will not stop. Uncle, boyfriend, papa, you all can post a hundred things about us being stupid but we don't care. If we want to rant, we rant. And we do it well too. That's exactly why I ask men to beware of us. Our ranting skills are innate. Yo, you gon' break up with us? STATUS. You gon' propose? STATUS. And there are chicks out there who will go "OMG, He proposed... he is right now on his knees... should I say YES guys?" on their status.
BITCH, YOU AN IDIOT?! The guy is kneeling there, probably waiting for you to answer and you gonna update a status? Honey, if you need someone else's opinion to marry someone, something is really wrong witchya woman! Shut your ish and give him an answer.
Also, yes we post status's like "I need someone to hold me. Feeling bad" And if you comment like "Whatsup?" We gon' for sure say "Don't wanna talk about it" Yup, thats how its gonna go. You want to really find out what's wrong. Inbox us!
So I do have a word of advice for women like this out there.. I'm going to be as nice as I can : BITCH, stop it. Stop with the status rant dudeeee!!! You want your children to turn out like idiots? You want 'em to go around and be like "Yo, man, don't add up my mother homie, she got an entire essay about your mom out there!" Stop that ish.
Aunties : Now these women have been monotonously same for ages and they do not plan on changing. NO. If Aunties think they are raising their sons just so they can marry us, they will continue to do so. No Aunty is going to come upto you and say "Beta, marry when you want. Concentrate on studies first" No man! That shit ain't gonna happen. They gon' be all like "Beta, shaadi kab hain? When you marry huh? My son is in the US, he engineer. You are seventeen now. Get ready for Shaadi"
Yo Aunty... I have no idea about you but seriously, I do not want to spend my nights with an engineer from the US. NO. Not when I am seventeen. I am not even properly sexually active. And yes My Mother uses the same flour you do. We have the same tablecloth and I do not want you coming into my house and going like "OMG you also garnier shampoo aahhh??" Shut that piehole. Here's some curd and there is some sugar.... keep outta my sight yo.
Feminists : Now this is a category I fall into. But ten years from now, I do not expect situation to be any different. Yes, yes I know.. I am filled with negative energy but hey, I have the right to my opinion? Oh wait, I'm in India.
But in all seriousness, it's not gonna happen. Men out there are still gonna be like "Yo, I am a nice guy, why don't you love me, BITCH?!" "Yo, Feminists only want woman supremacy. They don't want equality" Yup, that's how men, particularly Indian Men are going to be like. No, they will not hold their panties and listen to us. They are going to be like their mothers and judge us before we speak.
Little Girls : Ladies, gentlemen, aunty, uncle, bhaiya, honey ... listen up... in your life you can do anything. Anything is possible but don't EVER, in your wildest dreams even imagine taking a candy from these girl's hands to put it away. DON'T.
Teenagers : Now there are a lot of teenagers out there who are crazy and I mean it. Once these women folk hit the age of 12/13 they will want to have a boyfriend, they will want to look like models and do stuff we cannot imagine. When I was 12 I had no idea what half the stuff meant. I used to play outside, climb trees, build forts and play with my electronic robots but apparently all that has changed. Now you will find these girls in bars and pubs dancing with a guy friend of yours. And thanks to their height and boobs... they will actually look older than you. No Shit! Boys, please don't get fooled, if you see any girls like these, stop them from their bumping and grinding and send them home, yo. You needn't babysit them.
And for all the little Lolitas out there, man, you have a lot of time, believe me. Focus on studies and other shit like that. Partying and Sex can wait. It's time for you to play with toys and not with yourselves. Read books, be good.
Wives : Now these are a dangerous category. There are like cyanide in a gift box. Sure, it is going to be all happy in the beginning and all but then they will slowly want you to change. They will fall in love with you for who you are and then expect you change and once you do, they will get pissed at you. Yup, lots of wives do that. Well, not everyone but yeah. I will tell you guys a secret.
When we women fall in love with you, we hide our selves from you. We are like a HD version of Jekyll and Hyde. We can put up the act for years, trust me. We can make you think that we are awesome and not like anyone else. We tell you we trust you but secretly we are always keeping an eye on you. Always. But once we are married, we for sure KNOW that you are ours and this is when our true colors start showing. We will hate the same boxers we told you we loved when we weren't married. We are going to hate the same clothes we told you we loved on you. We will practically become HYDE for the rest of our life.
Seriously though boys, marry. If you sure a woman loves you, marry her. It's not easy for us to fall in love but when we do show affection for you, don't ignore it. Biggest mistake of your life. Love us, marry us and put up with us. You will have the best time of your life. We will love you to no ends, that is a promise. And to really understand your wives, men, make sure you have a daughter.
Role Models :There is a reason why this might happen Ten Years From Now... it is the role models. The role models for kids these days are people like "Nicki Minaj" I mean, seriously? "You a hoe". Now Nicki Minaj does know that children who are twelve are listening to her but she doesn't give a fuck, no sir. In fact she encourages them call other women "hoes". Ten years from now, I am sure someone like her will be president and you know how the world is going to be then. DISASTER! Miley Cyrus now knows that she is a teenage star but her latest video is of her "twerking". Miley, dafuq is wrong with you? With role models like Bella, Miley, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicki Minaj etc how on earth do you expect little girls to grow? They no longer listen to Nina Simone or watch Audrey Hepburn. The role models now, just teach women how to devolve.
That's all for today folks, I will post more about stuff Ten Years From Now, but this is it for now. I hope you guys liked it.
Anyway, I thought I'd make this a regular feature on my blog. Ten Years From Now. Everything Ten Years From Now. From rocks to boobs. (That escalated pretty fast huh)
So in my 1st Ten Years From Now, I thought I'd talk about the most obvious topic... WOMEN! Yes, Women, Ten Years From Now.
Usually when you say 'women' I get a mental picture of Nicki Minaj, don't ask me why. And women these days face lot of discrimination, they get hit with stereotypes etc etc. And you would expect me as a woman, to deny all these stereotypes but NO, I believe that Ten Years From Now.... half the female species are going to start looking like little Minaj's.
Women on Facebook : I spot a lot of women of facebook using their status's to talk about their day, their week or sometimes a para about their entire life. You ask me how I know this? I am one of them. OH YEAH, I am. Don't snigger, that is exactly how we women are. But sometimes, there are few people who take everything to a different level. We love receiving attention, its a known fact but some women.... they will go to any lengths for it.
So ten years from now....
Everything will go to extreme levels. And I do not expect duck faces to vanish ten years from now. In fact this will become so worse, you boys are going to have a tough time kissing us. We will mutate like this. Every born baby is going to have a duck face and if possible a camera in its hands. Boys, remember, when your daughters ask you for a camera, they don't want to be photographers. No. We have no interest in clicking pictures of cute animals or nature. The one real reason we need a camera is so we can sneak into a bathroom, put our butts out there and click a picture. And if there really is a cute animal, we NEED to be in the picture with it, making a ridiculous face. It's the law of nature.
I do not expect them to stop ranting on status's either. NO. We will not stop. Uncle, boyfriend, papa, you all can post a hundred things about us being stupid but we don't care. If we want to rant, we rant. And we do it well too. That's exactly why I ask men to beware of us. Our ranting skills are innate. Yo, you gon' break up with us? STATUS. You gon' propose? STATUS. And there are chicks out there who will go "OMG, He proposed... he is right now on his knees... should I say YES guys?" on their status.
BITCH, YOU AN IDIOT?! The guy is kneeling there, probably waiting for you to answer and you gonna update a status? Honey, if you need someone else's opinion to marry someone, something is really wrong witchya woman! Shut your ish and give him an answer.
Also, yes we post status's like "I need someone to hold me. Feeling bad" And if you comment like "Whatsup?" We gon' for sure say "Don't wanna talk about it" Yup, thats how its gonna go. You want to really find out what's wrong. Inbox us!
So I do have a word of advice for women like this out there.. I'm going to be as nice as I can : BITCH, stop it. Stop with the status rant dudeeee!!! You want your children to turn out like idiots? You want 'em to go around and be like "Yo, man, don't add up my mother homie, she got an entire essay about your mom out there!" Stop that ish.
Aunties : Now these women have been monotonously same for ages and they do not plan on changing. NO. If Aunties think they are raising their sons just so they can marry us, they will continue to do so. No Aunty is going to come upto you and say "Beta, marry when you want. Concentrate on studies first" No man! That shit ain't gonna happen. They gon' be all like "Beta, shaadi kab hain? When you marry huh? My son is in the US, he engineer. You are seventeen now. Get ready for Shaadi"
Yo Aunty... I have no idea about you but seriously, I do not want to spend my nights with an engineer from the US. NO. Not when I am seventeen. I am not even properly sexually active. And yes My Mother uses the same flour you do. We have the same tablecloth and I do not want you coming into my house and going like "OMG you also garnier shampoo aahhh??" Shut that piehole. Here's some curd and there is some sugar.... keep outta my sight yo.
Feminists : Now this is a category I fall into. But ten years from now, I do not expect situation to be any different. Yes, yes I know.. I am filled with negative energy but hey, I have the right to my opinion? Oh wait, I'm in India.
But in all seriousness, it's not gonna happen. Men out there are still gonna be like "Yo, I am a nice guy, why don't you love me, BITCH?!" "Yo, Feminists only want woman supremacy. They don't want equality" Yup, that's how men, particularly Indian Men are going to be like. No, they will not hold their panties and listen to us. They are going to be like their mothers and judge us before we speak.
Little Girls : Ladies, gentlemen, aunty, uncle, bhaiya, honey ... listen up... in your life you can do anything. Anything is possible but don't EVER, in your wildest dreams even imagine taking a candy from these girl's hands to put it away. DON'T.
Teenagers : Now there are a lot of teenagers out there who are crazy and I mean it. Once these women folk hit the age of 12/13 they will want to have a boyfriend, they will want to look like models and do stuff we cannot imagine. When I was 12 I had no idea what half the stuff meant. I used to play outside, climb trees, build forts and play with my electronic robots but apparently all that has changed. Now you will find these girls in bars and pubs dancing with a guy friend of yours. And thanks to their height and boobs... they will actually look older than you. No Shit! Boys, please don't get fooled, if you see any girls like these, stop them from their bumping and grinding and send them home, yo. You needn't babysit them.
And for all the little Lolitas out there, man, you have a lot of time, believe me. Focus on studies and other shit like that. Partying and Sex can wait. It's time for you to play with toys and not with yourselves. Read books, be good.
Wives : Now these are a dangerous category. There are like cyanide in a gift box. Sure, it is going to be all happy in the beginning and all but then they will slowly want you to change. They will fall in love with you for who you are and then expect you change and once you do, they will get pissed at you. Yup, lots of wives do that. Well, not everyone but yeah. I will tell you guys a secret.
When we women fall in love with you, we hide our selves from you. We are like a HD version of Jekyll and Hyde. We can put up the act for years, trust me. We can make you think that we are awesome and not like anyone else. We tell you we trust you but secretly we are always keeping an eye on you. Always. But once we are married, we for sure KNOW that you are ours and this is when our true colors start showing. We will hate the same boxers we told you we loved when we weren't married. We are going to hate the same clothes we told you we loved on you. We will practically become HYDE for the rest of our life.
Seriously though boys, marry. If you sure a woman loves you, marry her. It's not easy for us to fall in love but when we do show affection for you, don't ignore it. Biggest mistake of your life. Love us, marry us and put up with us. You will have the best time of your life. We will love you to no ends, that is a promise. And to really understand your wives, men, make sure you have a daughter.
Role Models :There is a reason why this might happen Ten Years From Now... it is the role models. The role models for kids these days are people like "Nicki Minaj" I mean, seriously? "You a hoe". Now Nicki Minaj does know that children who are twelve are listening to her but she doesn't give a fuck, no sir. In fact she encourages them call other women "hoes". Ten years from now, I am sure someone like her will be president and you know how the world is going to be then. DISASTER! Miley Cyrus now knows that she is a teenage star but her latest video is of her "twerking". Miley, dafuq is wrong with you? With role models like Bella, Miley, Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Nicki Minaj etc how on earth do you expect little girls to grow? They no longer listen to Nina Simone or watch Audrey Hepburn. The role models now, just teach women how to devolve.
That's all for today folks, I will post more about stuff Ten Years From Now, but this is it for now. I hope you guys liked it.
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